Who are you again?

You might have noticed that my blog has been combined with my professional portfolio. Now you can find Everything Hayley all in one convenient place. You're welcome.

I thought this could be a good time for me to reintroduce myself with some basics and maybe a little extra information you never asked for. I know. You're welcome again.

This is me, circa 2019

Who are you again?

I'm a realistically optimistic extroverted introvert. I live in Northern California. I believe that grilled cheese sandwiches are the best sandwiches and that people should be nicer.

What do you write?

Fiction. Creative nonfiction. Screenplays. Blogs, apparently. Thank you notes. Grocery lists. Instagram captions and dating app bios for friends who ask nicely.

Why is there a dinosaur?

Because dinosaurs are the best, and I love them.

What were you like as a child?

Pure delight.

Halloween, circa 2003.

What's your spirit animal?

The owl, according to a reliable online quiz.

Or the turtle, depending on the day.

What kind of books do you read?

One time, when I was browsing at the library, I randomly opened a book and started reading: "Then, he chopped off her other arm, and it was then that she passed out from all the blood." I will never forget this.

That's the only kind of book I actively avoid.

I'm all about dark humor, love stories, kick-ass women, and human kindness. I like smart but not pretentious, emotional but not sappy, and inevitable but not predictable.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs.

We hate cats, circa always

What are your thoughts on cilantro?

HERE I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING SUCH A NICE CHAT, AND YOU HAD TO BRING UP CILANTRO???

I hate cilantro.

I know. I'm a controversial figure. BUT there's a genetic component to why I hate it. Have a look at this. Never let it be said that my blog isn't educational.

Would you consider running for president someday?

No.

I'm DYING to follow you on Twitter. How can I find you?

Wow, I wish I shared your enthusiasm for Twitter. You can follow me @hayleyzablotsky