• Hayley Zablotsky

Questionable Wisdom: On Not Panicking

Springtime in Texas means a lot of wonderful things: flabby pale legs coming out to see the sun, allergies that make you want to remove your entire sinus situation from your head, and tornadoes.

Yes! What a time to be alive.

This year has been especially stormy (something about El Niño). It's made me jumpy, and I'm told I need a ThunderShirt. ThunderShirts keep dogs calm during scary business — like storms and fireworks. It works because the constant pressure of the tight shirt has the same comforting effect as a snug swaddle for babies.

ThunderShirt, polo style, in pink. I'll take a size medium, please.

ANYWAY. I got stuck at work during one of the most severe tornadoes of the season (which was honestly a good thing because the building is a fortress — the only place I'd rather be stuck is Target). We turned on the news channel to get real-time updates from the weather man. This is what he said:

It's fine. Everything is fine. I'm not panicking, you're not panicking, no one is panicking. There's no reason to panic! We're going to be fine.

It's always nice to have an expert instill confidence. Maybe we should order him a ThunderShirt as well.

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© 2020 Hayley Zablotsky

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