• Hayley Zablotsky

Cute Delicious Murders

I was at the bookstore last night [because what else would a young fun gal be doing on a Saturday night] and I ended up spending most of my time in a section of the mystery aisle. These weren't regular mysteries I was perusing, no. These were the cute delicious ones.

Exhibit A

There is an entire sub-genre of mystery centered around food — cute food, I should add. My local Barnes and Noble organized all these cute delicious murder stories into one section. And when you see them all together... it's overwhelming. There are so many. It really is a genre of its own, complete with aesthetic requirements: a cozy cover with bright colors and lovely food, an ominous but adorable tagline, and often a small dog or cat.


The cat did it. Look at that face.

And the puns. OHHHHH the puns. These puns put the rest of us to shame.


In case you didn't get the pun, "Scone" is italicized for you.

Note the doggo.

Indeed.

When italics aren't enough, completely change the font to ensure we get the pun.

Not be be confused with...


And in this ever changin' world in which we live in.....

What is this - a pirate wedding cake? Subtle.

A lesson we all have to learn.

If a woman doesn't nurse a grown man, I'm not interested.

And another one gone, and another one gone...

Though baked goods seem to lead this genre, it's not all about dessert! There's plenty of room for savory food, too.


Again, it was the cat.

That's a big knife for such a little onion... dum dum DUM.

Note that nothing will ever be this dog's fault.

With the fun wild twist that the Amish always bring to the party.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't buy any of these books. They're not my cup of tea. But I enjoy the fact that they exist and applaud the authors who write them.

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© 2020 Hayley Zablotsky

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