• Hayley Zablotsky

A Goddamn Thank You Note

At least one thing to be thankful for.

It's Thanksgiving, which means it's time for us to get over our crappy attitudes about this year and focus on something positive for once. Things we are grateful for. Good things that remain in the carnage of this cat litter box of a year.

[Note that tomorrow we are at liberty to resume our crappy attitudes].

I recently cleaned out a lot of stuff from the garage and found a thank you note that I saved. It's from my ex-roommates — well, actually, my real roommates' sub-leasers found on Craigslist that I didn't get to approve of before they showed up with a lifetime supply of Solo cups, a bunch of business major friends named Brad, and a soundtrack that went: "ALL THE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE HOUSE GET LIT," which they played every night of the week, including week nights when my bedtime was a rigid 9:30pm.

I'm not a wet dish rag, really. I'm very fun. There are a few people who could verify this. But I was a newly-minted ADULT with my first real ADULT JOB. [It might be relevant to mention that these roommates were still in college, and I was feeling very much beyond those days even though it was literally days after graduation].


You might not be shocked to learn that there was a bit of tension in our apartment. I wasn't the greatest at handling conflict [still not — it's a journey. But hey, at least I don't write passive aggressive sticky notes anymore].

I sulked around the apartment and avoided any and all real adult confrontation. It actually worked [though I don't suggest it], because the extent of my wrath was utterly unclear and allegedly terrifying. Totally invisible and yet PALPABLE AS LIFE-SUCKING HUMID FLORIDA AIR.

What resulted is this note that I just found in the garage:

Accompanied by a bottle of Moscato.

This wonderful gesture almost completely makes up for that time they vomited various liquors in the kitchen sink. With dishes in the sink. In the middle of the afternoon.

Anyway, the point of all this is that this note inspired me, and I'm challenging myself to write a thank you note. In general. To the universe. In the spirit of Thanksgiving.

[Note that I will not be sending a bottle of Moscato with this thank you note, because I need that for myself. Generosity of spirit only goes so far.]

Unfortunately for my crappy attitude, I actually do have a lot to be thankful for. THIS IS NOT TO SAY that the grousing is going to instantly stop and I will be transformed into the buoyant and gleeful sprite I once was in my innocent youth.

But I guess it's not all bad, so I'm writing a goddamn thank you note to show my appreciation.

Here is an abbreviated list of things that I am thankful for:

- My family (even though quarantining with them has driven me to near insanity).

- My friends (even though I haven't seen them in almost a year).

- My boyfriend (even though it's basically illegal for us to even kiss).

- My health (even though I haven't seen the sun in many months and am in the midst of an ongoing mental health spiral).

- Zoom (even though I'M ALWAYS SOMEHOW ON MUTE).

- Free YouTube workout videos (even though my knee is now crippled).

- Amazon Prime (even though I have no money).

- Dogs

One of my very favorite dogs, expressing how we all feel about this year.

It turns out, I have plenty to be thankful for, and probably you do too [even though things have been pretty bleak and it's easier to just whine and stuff your face with "healthy" Trader Joe's cheese puffs under a blanket — believe me, I know].

And so, I'm challenging you, too, to write a goddamn thank you note before the year is over.

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© 2020 Hayley Zablotsky

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